Ways to Express Appreciation to your Partner
63By ang lian
- Express it verbally. Some people think of love and appreciation as feelings and attitudes, and they don’t know how to express them verbally. Other people hold back words because they assume that their partners know their feelings, as if they were mind readers. At first you may feel a little foolish expressing appreciation in words, but keep at it. Your mate needs to hear you say how you feel in your heart. You may feel that you have been expressing appreciation in other ways – by keeping house, bringing home paycheck, or by preparing the favorite foods. But these actions do not fill the need for expressing your appreciation in words.
- Identify a specific quality. When you express admiration, avoid generalizations that arouse curiousity or perplexity about what a person is trying to say.One woman told her husband that he was a “manly sort of man”. He began to test her on what she meant, and she couldn’t think of one quality. Express appreciation for a particular deed or characteristic when it is evident- a courtesy, a new coat, her figure. This way what you say will be taken at face value without further questioning.
- Avoid flattery. Flattery and appreciation differ. One is sincere and the other is insencere. One is selfish, and the other is unselfish. One is universally admired, and the other is universally condemned. Someone has said, “ Don’t be afraid of the enemies who attack you. Be afraid if those who flatter you.” Appreciation and praise are based on character, traits and actions.
- Praise daily. Develop the reputation for being an appreciative partner. Make sure that a day never goes by without an opportunity to admire some good quality in each family member. Expressing affection and appreciation day in and out is one of the most effective techniques for smoothing the rough edges of family life.
